bombastic Crap
About Me
- Name: ghostie
- Location: Lim Chu Kang, Chinese Cemetery, Singapore
What can I say about myself? No car. No bike. No this no that... I really don't know... But I think I have change alot from my secondry school days? From small kid to someone who has to shoulder huge responsbilities? 5 yrs have been a very long time for me... Meet lotsa new frds, lost lotsa old frds too(which I don't wanna happen) I don know how many of those guys and gals I know from young really treat me as frds :( But I treat them all like treasures :p Was rebellious and stupid when young... Think now still de same except being stupid? Know tat im such a pest when I was young, don know abt now :p Now I am working towards to fulfil my dream! Now involve in setting up my own business. Not good at writing abt myself... Cause the people who know me best are the people who hate me and love me :p
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
不要在寂寞的时候说爱我
我的心情平静而寂寞
当我想忘记爱情去勇敢生活
是谁到我身边唱起了情歌
当初的爱情匆匆走过
除了伤口没留下什么
你总是在我寂寞流泪的时候
用你的双臂紧紧抱着我
不要在我寂寞的时候说爱我
除非你真的能给予我快乐
那过去的伤总在随时提醒我
别再被那爱情折磨
不要在我哭泣的时候说爱我
除非你真的不让我难过
我不想听太多那虚假的承诺
让我为爱再次后悔
犯下的错
当初的爱情匆匆走过
除了伤口没留下什么
你总是在我寂寞流泪的时候
用你的双臂紧紧抱着我
不要在我寂寞的时候说爱我
除非你真的能给予我快乐
那过去的伤总在随时提醒我
别再被那爱情折磨
不要在我哭泣的时候说爱我
除非你真的不让我难过
我不想听太多那虚假的承诺
让我为爱再次后悔
犯下的错
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Its all about Character
We joined the force when we were 15 going to 16, about a hundred plus of us... We discarded our sch Us and instead choose to don on the olive green garb. We traded our canvas shoes for full leather high cut boots. We forgo the privilege of stylable hairs and instead went for the cool botak heads. We lay down our pens and pencils and instead pick up guns. We threw away our caps and instead choose to have Jockey caps and berets....
We gave up being a student, a civilian and instead, choose to be a soldier.
We went places that a lot of people has never went before. Most of us were high flyers... We were tasked with the responsibilities of the lives of our men at a tender age.
This kind of life lasted for 7 years, more for some... Out of the hundred plus of us, only a few of us is still in the force now... The rest, either passed away or resign. I'm one of them...
We had power, authority and we are unchallenged when it comes it barking orders. At the age of around 19, we were leaders, commanders. We were SOMEBODY and not one to be reckon with.
However, all that change once we step out from the organization. We were NOBODY. We are lowly. A change of work environment screws up one life.
Its a change that we made and choose. Not being forced but a decision that we made ourselves. We realised that we were falling behind times and we cannot stay in our own world anmore. Yet, a lot of us, were totally unprepared for this transition. I'm NOT one of them.
When one steps out from a place where one holds power and authority, to a field where one is totally unfamiliar with, or has no knowledge on it, one has to bring oneself down, in order to learn and to climb. However, most of us cannot do that... They were to used to the life they had...
My friend, has left the force for around 4 years. Me, 2 years. When we enquire about our recent conditions, I was shocked to know that he has been drifting in and out of jobs for the last 4 years, never holding one steady job.
His reasons, he is not used to be a normal employee in a lowly position where he has to take orders and instructions. He wanted a position where he could stay as the same as last time. However, with his qualifications and his work experience, he wont be able to get what he wants...
When he knows what Im doing now, he is shocked and filled with envy. He asked me, how am I able to reconstruct my career within a short span of 2 years. I told him that I didn't took 2 years. I took 18 months. He then realised that what he had heard about me, destroying myself was true...
He then asked, what does he have to do, to have the results like me. I told him to remember one word... And that is Humble. I told him once he is humble, he can achieve a lot things. Never resist to take orders or instructions when it is he job. It allows him to learn and will also allow him to learn. By gaining more knowledge and experience, one can go far...
The Past, The Present and The Future
the topic of the earth quake came out and we share de same sad sentiments.... in these few days, we have seen all sadness, pain, the sense of loss....
a lot of them never get to see their loved ones after tat... most of them will never get de chance to say 'i love you' to each other ever again... be it parents to children or vis a vis, be it lovers... Be it those pple who liked each other but never had de courage to say it out...
its all over... they will never have this chance again... its a waste... if they are allowed one more chance, things might be different...
china deployed paratroopers so that they can access the quake stricken area faster than travelling on foot... one of the paratroopers send this sms to his gf...
'im going in to ground zero now... there is always danger all around. although i can don go, but i still went ahead. if i happen to 'stay' there, do not be sad, for you lose only one loved ones. the rest of the people there lost more than one. if i happen to 'stay' there, go back there when de city is rebuilt, do not ask where was i but look at de effort i have put in there for the people there.'
now how noble is this man! how many can do it like him? but its sad when heroes are born in the time of chaos...
时势造英雄,还是英雄造时势? Does history create heroes or does heroes create history?
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from de quake, one realise how frail life is... you can be here today, gone tomolo... a lot of things undone, a lot things unsaid... a lot of feelings not being convey...
y shld one keep his/her feelings? its bcos we got no courage... it takes a lot of courage to tell someone ur feelings to another... one would always try to think of excuses to skip this process of baring one feelings...
不管是晴天、阴天、雨天,能见到你的一天,就是晴朗的一天;不管是昨天、今天、明天,能和你在一起的一天,就是美好的一天。爱就要勇敢表白,谁知道明天和意外哪个先来?
No matter whether is it a sunny day, cloudy day or rainy day. As long as i can see u, its a happy day. No matter whether is it yesterday or today, as long as i can spend my day with u, its a perfect day. If you loved someone, let them know... who knows which will come first... Tomorrow or Accident?
enough said... i think u all got my point...
Friday, May 23, 2008
Pain...
Monday, May 19, 2008
When You Are Old And Gray - Tom Lehrer
Since I still appreciate you,
Let's find love while we may.
Because I know I'll hate you
When you are old and gray.
So say you love me here and now,
I'll make the most of that.
Say you love and trust me,
For I know you'll disgust me
When you're old and getting fat.
An awful debility,
A lessened utility,
A loss of mobility
Is a strong possibility.
In all probability
I'll lose my virility
And you your fertility
And desirability,
And this liability
Of total sterility
Will lead to hostility
And a sense of futility,
So let's act with agility
While we still have facility,
For we'll soon reach senility
And lose the ability.
Your teeth will start to go, dear,
Your waist will start to spread.
In twenty years or so, dear,
I'll wish that you were dead.
I'll never love you then at all
The way I do today.
So please remember,
When I leave in December,
I told you so in May.
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Meh, did u read de lyrics? LOL, isnt it the truth for a lot of pple who doesnt know wat real love is? hmmm come to think of it, this guy is singing de truth abt human nature... for both women and men! wahahah
but heck tats not for all pple ma hor? Especially pple like me! LOL
Suicide
it was soooooooooooooooooooooooooo tiring... dotz... wa koaz.. really old le ba... i don feel anything last time when i was crew running on de floor for 8 hrs! now i feel damn tired...
working on tues, wed and thurs.... yea man... lol, guess im asking for suicide.. but heck, better than staying at home and tio nag by my mom... LOL... Sally was understanding... Very understanding..
cool, i think she knows wat de hell i am going through at home ba...
the crew over there not bad wor... quite frdly... but we seldom talk la... only talk to a few... cos i too new la... LOL...
so see how ba... but i know if sally is gonna put me on de floor for 8hrs straight for de next 3 months, 1 good thing will happen... I will freaking slim down! LOL
Oh yea!!! i jus realised 1 thing! Mac also know how to zuo ren... LOL I can fit in their M size pants wor!!! LOL
Sunday, May 18, 2008
June
hehehe, actually ashley suggested Sentosa and since Crystal has never been to sentosa, then we bring her there lo... hehehe
when we mentioned tat to her, she was so happy~~~~ hehehehe
June~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Here i come~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
1 On 1 Meeting, friends, colleagues life and game?
I told him tat i will let him know on wednesday... but he knows tat im worth every penny being spent on... LOL
Sanjeev is looking at things in the long term... He does not wan me to stay in Data Analytics for too long, rather he wans me to advance... i told him tat im not looking at any management role but rather a specific role tat allows me to be an individual contributer as this wont restrict my circle of learning...
its hard to believe tat someone like who has an O lvl can climb this far... sanjeev says tat education is not a issue when it comes to de ability to work... however, he wans me to show more 'black faces' as this will help on a lot of things...
today officially working on dashboard... its crazy especially when u have to do data crunching... tried sending the file through email then realise tat its 9MB in size... Cool la! never tried having Excel sheet in such a big file...
Im officially starting work in Mac in de 18th. working 2 jobs is not bcos of $$... is to siam home... cos my mom a bit naggy la... u all know wat she nags abt by now... got my typhoid injection today... hand damn painful... later must take foto...
i suddenly realised tat i have taken interest in someone... but hor, i don know her so well la... so maybe see how lo... sometimes when thing advance too fast, its not good... also don know how to tell her... maybe tell her liao i buang, and will pai seh la...
things have been looking bright... been having good support from frds and co workers... a fine bunch of pple... crazy when having fun, serious when working... can also have fun during work...
we work hard, play hard, curse and swear real hard (Out of ear shot of course). we teased each other, support each other, spoke words of encouragement, tried to kill one another with sarcasm, go mad together while at work, bully one another, bully de boss and de boss bully us back...
our dept is not a normal dept which u see all ard any companies, with people holing in cubicles while planning how to plunge a 7 inch dagger through some other's back ( trust me, i went through tat before... ITS NOT FUN)
we are an ABNORMAL bunch. Yes, you read it right... ABNORMAL... Sanjeev is the Ringmaster (Circus), the zoo keeper (zoo), the Mental Institute Director (IMH), the Shepard (NA, He aint holy, WE are de scape goats when things go wrong... which is seldom) and the Bullet Proof Vest (When Soma starts her machine guns...)
so u can pretty guess how our dept is... not, its not chaotic, its not messy, its not crazy... it fun, its vibrant with communications and good ties all around everyone (Of cos theres clashes now and then, and a bit of bad blood here and there) , but hell yea, we still stay strong...
the new comers (3 of them) were pretty well behave... but yea, we are teaching them all de bad stuffs... HEY, thats wat Seniors are for! Aint tat right? LOL
life is finally showing light for me... after 6 months of self destruct (last yr), im picking myself up faster than expected... its moving very fast... coming to 1 yr already... it has never been easy to come this far, especially after falling so hard... but, the harder u fall, the higher u bounce (I got enough fats to do tat!) so im trying to go places where i have never go before this time rd... To the infinity and beyond~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LOL
today larling (she call me LARDling) say i chubby! so happy la! She is gonna be my would be colleague soon... on the 18th... its funny on how she call me LARDling and i call her larling...
know her online when she was going by de IGN Halleluyah... Then XBB (Xiao Blade Blade aka Blade Aka King, Tois gave him tat name and we follow suit!) call her sotong... from then on, she WAS King's sotong... (Don know abt now...) Ruff called her Halle, i type her IGN type until pek chek... Too long la... then decided to call her Char bor... then she call me Tar bor...
ling ling long long a bit and bcos of a game mode and some teasing, started to call her larling and i got stuck with LARDling... Along de way came tois, then she become tois's Darlie and he become her Darling...
along de way (again) came Special, call call till become whale and dolphin... my old mates in MoH still call me Gui, chinese for ghostie... Useless aka PY and Hermi aka Eve managed to adapt well to my new found IGN, train... tois called me the toilet guardian (Cos he wear all blue and i wear all red), the GF (Good Friend) and the worst he could ever call me was GAY (due to me not having a Girl Friend)...
XBB can never call me by my 1st name... he jus only know train... and today he is officially labled GAY cos he keeps on going to the gym... And he got a damn GL face... LOL... then we have Gal ( not de one in de foto...) and dancii who somehow stumbled into us... fun and crazy pple... lol
somehow a stray cow ventured too near to us (Moo Moo) and she tio the mad cow disease (from us of course!)... Also kee qia liao (Gone Case) gone mad with us... LOL
PY started de idea of wearing a 1 color suit... she spent 60k or 600k on her outfit (i forgot how much, but i know she was screaming murder all for it), dressed herself in all red... LOL.. then we decided to follow suit... i got myself all red also... spent like 300k on it... Tois and Gal both got blue, with Gal having an additional white...
XBB was de one tat goes 'EEEEEE! Simi Sai' then after tat joined us in de crazy parade. he is also de top dresser with around 6 colors to change to... he went fanatic over it and called us de Power Rangers... YEA, POWER RANGERS... Dotz, fancy a young adult to come up with something like tat... tois labeled us the toilet guardians...
Hell yea, we had fun... bang wall moments, cut throat moments, 'i hate u and u hate me' moments... dao pple and tio pple dao moments, brain lag, hand lag moments, ji tao ben dan moments, stoning moments, kee siao moments and abnormal moments... suanning sessions are a daily affair... if theres not any tinge of sourness in any convo tat day, then de end of the world is coming... LOL
FUN LA~~~~~ I love life...
PS: i know u will be reading this... so guess who is the one im interested in... LOL AND TOIS, IT IS NOT YOU! LOL
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Sleepless
it made me think back on the day that i have met the old man, the old man's daughter and most importantly, it made me think of my dad...
I know i sound like an emo freak! but duh, hell im not... its jus tat, at this kind of time, when u are all alone, listening to the sounds of the nite, feelings that u don feel normally, will kinda creep up...
to a lot of pple, im a happy go lucky guy. a guy who got no cares, no worries and doesnt give 2 hoots abt things.
to some pple, im someone who is strong, can be depended on as a pillar when things doesnt turn right.
to some minority, im someone who can carry the whole world on my shoulders.
Strong as hell, carefree, solid front, as if nothing in the world will bring me down...
all these, all of these, are jus one part of me. One side...
im one hell of a sentimental freak... i do cry, although very very little pple has seen tat... (cos i only cry in VERY VERY RARE OCCASIONS!)
im a softie... i cannot do nothing when i see an elder selling tissues, or setting up a small stall selling things jus to make a living.... trust me, i ever paid $4 for 2 packets of tissues..
im an idiot when it comes to the affairs of the heart... i think tats widely known? i always give 101% to any relationship... hell yea, who cares abt it anyway...
im weak, seriously weak... i have always hope i can always find someone who i can depend on, lean on, but it seems tat up to now, i still don have one?
i have been struggling to walk on the path of life, alone. I have once, found someone who is willing to walk the road with me, but things don turn out right in the end...
i am a court jester, a clown, an entertainer, a comedian. but does anyone knows that pple like us actually yearn to have someone ard us? we brought laughter to pple ard us, but at our own expenses... how many of them know abt it? and actually appreciate it?
today, dolphin ask me, how come im working so hard... i told her its bcos i wan to siam match making sessions... which is half true... the other half, is not to allow feelings like this to creep on me...
cos if it happens, wat i might do is jus to grab de person i really like and smooch her! and then tell her tat i like her... okie the word 'like' is a bit weak, maybe smooch liao say 'I love you'?
guess she might slap me ba? but the thing is, the 'she' has not appear yet... so i cant jus grab anyone and smooch... i will get prosecuted!
and hell yea, I AM FREAKING SHY DE LA... dotz... this is no joke de... really... >_<
hell, this is one emotional post... dotz... totally wayward from my usual self...
Friday, May 9, 2008
Bad Bad News
hiaz... no new resources means and no new staffs means we are going to work ourselves to death with no claims on taxi fares... demoralized... i ask for a meeting with Sanjeev 30% for this issue and 70% for some other issues.. But he is more busy than me lo! DoTz... he is suppose to sit down and look important only lo!
Went Arena, bcos its Dolphin's bday... Went with ashley bcos i don know my freaking way ard CQ... I DON CLUB DE! Ashley also join in the fun with me...
Met GAL... de one tat always wan to bully me de... lol... and i got bullied by her tat nite >_<>_<
Ash and Me
Group Photo
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Running, no more walking
Its certainly beyond my expectations since i jus took over this position not so long ago. compared to everyone, im a new guy... yet my advancement is taking a few of them by storm, creating stir, making some of them, red eyed...
Rex is very determined to keep me out of HR... for wat reasons, im not sure... and deepak is very very determined to keep me out of HR too... bcos he wans me to stay in Data Analytic... He has been complaining to Rex that i still spend quite a bit of time, handling HR issues...
aiya no matter wat, they are going to make me go to another dept soon...
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Meeting O.o
Deepak was complaining to Rex that my time is still being taken up by Korea. I told him that Im still training Ashley for Payroll to General Ledger process, I can only give up Korea once Ashley is confident of handling Korea alone, without my help...
They wan me to concentrate on my current scope cos its critical... But they wan me to get prepared for something else, which is coming soon... Another totally new field tat i have never step in before...
Its exciting la! cos its totally new wor... can learn new things! i love de process of working from bottom up!
its a process of self learning , its another process of knowing wat one self can do, how good can one do and how good one can be.
its also a test of mental strength, a test of one's capability, one's adaptiveness.
The process of climbing de ladder is one exhilarating process! its shows one self how much effort one has put in, how much one is willing to put in.
Everytime is a new life experience, a new learning experience, a new experience of self discovering...
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Safari Vest and Iron Man
This is de picture of a vest...
Looks like a woman's shirt hor? I tried wearing it with black... de effect is better than wearing white... My mama see liao almost 'hin' (Faint) She say y i buy something like tat... i say she wan me to wear something strange ma.... SO YEA, THERE U HAVE IT MAMA!
LOL
Watched Ironman with Ashley, show ok ok only lo... Funny most of de time la... but it does carry a message behind lo.. you gotta watch lo... i don know how to explain...
Argh, now i need help lo... Wat am i suppose to buy for a gal's bday? HMMM... SOMEONE HELP ME???????
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Sick
keep on telling me not to stay up so late... should not stick myself to work and game... tell me i shld go out more... know more pple... bring someone home and let her see see...
i jus brush it off aside and tell her when de time comes, it shld come de la... no need to accelerate de process de... she poke my head then tell me to go die...
I O.o then tell her where got mom ask their son to go die de when their son never bring any gals home... she say shes de one lo...
she say everytime our relatives come, they keep on asking my mom whether i am gay or not... DOTZ... SIMI SAI WOR!!! No GF GAY MEH?
she laugh lo... she say pple my age already got kid and wife liao... even my bro already got a gf and planning on marriage liao... i said tat bro 'li hai' ma... know how to hook gals... my mom mock slap me and say tat i shld learn from him...
don understand y nowadays so many pple ask me abt my status... dotz... maciam i alien when i don have a gf... >_<>_<
my mama says tat my dressing is too plain... i shld wear more crazy stuff... O.o wear normal cannot meh? She say everyday see me wear de clothes har, maciam no change de... design same, color change... and tats it! See until sian lo... tats wat she say...
DoTz... I told her better than see me wear uniform everyday right? she shake her head... she say tat my uniform looks more colorful... >_<
i tell my mama, later i go buy some crazy clothes... she better not scold me... she say she wont but she wan it to be crazy enough...
!@#$%^*(
Friday, May 2, 2008
Photos
Here it is~!
Ashley in de cave
Crystal and Andy
Ashley and Crystal
Okie, don ask about me... i too ugly le... everytime i tried to take photo, de camera jus refuse to work.. LOL
Thursday, May 1, 2008
My Dad...
Instead, I give up army, which i had slogged so hard for... From someone issue orders to someone who has to take orders from others... My mama say i stupid... say i throw face...
I told her tat after i left army, I have been successful before wor... She saw it herself, she even say its good tat i have left de army...
My mama says that, all de more i shld go back to wat i have been doing previously. But i don wan... too much work, responsibilities, so less time, even though de $ is good... my mama ask me to go back to study... i tell my mama tat she knows i cannot study de... i only know how to work my up de...
Then she scold me again, for giving up everything i had worked for previously... I tell my mama tat papa says tat life experience is more important... Career can come 2nd... My mama tell me not to listen to my dad... she say my dad bull shit de...
But i tell mama tat even though dad never had a career to talk about, (He is not in any supervisory role, not in any management role, he basically is a worker all his life...) never draw those obsence amount of salary, yet he managed clear off Uncle debts 4 times, bring up 2 'Worst case scenarios' boys, never have to let my mama work, paid for the 4 rm HDB flat in full...
He gave us a good life, never allowed us to go hungry, have dinner outside every sunday... Got a plasma TV, home surround system... got 2 tvs, 1 for mom and 1 for bro... we got cable, internet, he got my brother a computer...
He got no career to talk abt... never once he lamented that he can have a better life if he has done tat or done this... Its very hard for a normal person to do all this... Let alone my dad...
My dad is not ordinary... he is not any normal man that you see walking normally on de street...
My Dad is a Polio victim... The disease destroy the use of his right leg... His right leg is thin like a stick... Basically, just bones and skin... His muscle wasted away...
But hell, he is a strong man... He never played on his handicapped... Instead, he show alot of pple tat he is as good as any normal man... If not, better...
I know alot of his frds, colleagues as I used to play alot at his workplace when i was kid... They always tell me that my dad is not someone to be trifle with... Even though they call him 'Bai kar', a hokkien term for walking with a lame leg, its a term that they call him with respect, not ridiculation...
They told me that even though my dad walks with a limp, he doesnt require help in anything he do... They say tat his skills are superb and they cant do without him most of de time...
My dad, is a mechanic for heavy machinery...
I told mama tat she might think tat watever dad has said to me might be bullshit to her, but to me, dad would not say anything tats bullshit if it is not feasible...
but my mama, she says tat no gals would wan a man with no career... i tell mama tat if no gals wan me, then so be it... i tell mama to look at herself, my dad, my bro and me... and watever is ard her...
Then i ask her..
"Ma, when u fall in love with dad, is it bcos of his career and money? Or is it bcos of who he is?"
My mama laugh damn loud! she says tat my dad has no career and $ to speak of...
"Yea lo... but u still married him wor... and see wat dad has done... not everyone can do things like him de wor...."
my mom went quiet... she actually cried a bit... she knows wat my dad says is true la...
A man doesnt need to have a career to be successful... its wat he had done in life, his experiences in life tat counts for everything... Its the people tat he has touched in life, the pple who he has influenced, and the people who have influence him... its these pple tat bear witness to wat a man he is and how successful in life...
Once, the parents of my best frd commented on my determination in life... They asked me wat had made me so determined in life...
I told them, I grew up watching my Dad's back...
Dolphin? Whale?
Then she so funny ask why la... I told her tat i bigger in size ma, so call her dolphin and im called whale... LOL
She said okie la but after tat i still got call her whale sometimes lo... Funny la...
Hahaha